T-SQL Tuesday #100 – Predicting the Future!

For this T-SQL Tuesday we are asked to look into our crystal SQL Server ball and predict what will be happening at the time of T-SQL Tuesday #200. I went to the garage, dug that thing out, cleaned it up, and boy it had a lot to say!

Assuming we’re all friends here, and there is some fun to be had with this…

T-SQL and JSON had a baby. All queries in SSMS resemble a hybrid of the two languages.

SSDT has been replaced by VSDT. Nothing has really changed but the acronym. As always, you can still expect some things to break when you do updates.

Microsoft bought NHibernate. You still have all the same issues as before but now you post them to Microsoft Party (it replaced Collaborate…after that replaced Connect) and actually watch them not get fixed. And you can’t post work-arounds in MS Party (so it’s not much of a party).

MS NHibernate still generates SQL queries that are long and redundant, but it’s not handling the TSQL-JSON baby very well. So there’s that.

Microsoft acquired ActiveBatch and it is now called SQL Server Batch and has replaced SQL Server Agent for scheduling jobs in SQL Server 2026. Consequently, companies have been reluctant to upgrade from SQL Server 2023 (especially the ones that have used ActiveBatch).

For the companies that are upgrading, they have found that calling PowerShell scripts from scheduled tasks to be a good way to bypass using SQL Server Batch. Increase the in the demand for DBA’s with extensive PowerShell experience sky rockets!

The rumors back in 2018 proved to be unfounded – DBA’s are still in high demand. All the talk of SQL Server tuning itself turned out to be DTA 2.0.

Microsoft brought back the MCM. And then killed it again the next year.

Azure has been replaced by Rainbow. Data is no longer in the “cloud” – it is in “rainbows.” Pricing is based on the colors of the rainbow and the color names are garnet, citron, lemon, lime, azure, and violet.

PASS still exists. Due to some bylaw changes, elections have not been held since 2019. Grant Fritchey [B|T] is still president and attends meetings remotely from his nursing home.

Just kidding – Grant’s not in a nursing home. That’s just where he says he is. There was some backlash when PASS did away with SQL Saturday events. Grant’s really in witness protection and goes by the name Thomas LaRock [B|T].

Thanks to Adam Machanic [B|T] for hosting the T-SQL Tuesday this month, and for coming up with this whole thing to inspire all of us to write more and continue to share knowledge. While there was absolutely no knowledge in this post, I do hope that I got a giggle from at least one person.


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